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Losing Faith
edgie_g
The feeling of losing is as natural as life. Everthing we hold with meaning is temporal. Even our thoughts and memories, as they come with age, fail us--in some ways more than tragic than others--like how Alzheimer's affect people.

However inevitable this experience of losing is, we as human beings never learned to let go easily. We grieve, wallow and suffer, as if we never anticipated that moment when we embrace the reality that something is lost. Then we allow time to
heal us, as we wait for something else to fill the emptiness we feel, giving us a renewed meaning to move on, and start all over again. A cycle that never ends until our last breath.

When you think of it that way, you can't help but wonder if life is really that cruel? Having such inevitable fate, are we so powerless over the things we lose, that we allow ourselves to be deceived to be able to just go on with life, but in the end losing everything all over again? So is it faith to blindly keep moving on, however trapped we are in that endless cycle of losing? To hold onto branch after branch while falling on an endless cliff, hoping that we don't reach the bottom just yet?

And yes, of course, the notion of losing gives everything important to us the meaning to hold them dear, realizing that someday, their existence will only be as fleeting as our memories. But why, after all the suffering, it still damn hurt?
Did faith fail to give hope to a new beginning? A new meaning in place of the one we have lost dearly? If hurting means you have lost rightfully, then isn't it right to lose the hurt eventually? or maybe not.

Maybe Alzheimer's is a blessing in disguise. They do not feel that emptiness of losing everything they love. Any glimpse of memory is so brief, time does not allow them to suffer.

or maybe, to lose and to hurt is to have faith. And losing faith is to not have lost nor to have felt any hurt at all.

?

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